Corporate liars

Have you noticed how telling lies has become part of corporate speak?
I flew into Heathrow the other day. We arrived on time but we were incarcerated on the plane for a further hour because there was no bus to take us to the terminal. The reason given was "the absence of ground transport is due to...........wait for it.....the high volume of incoming flights"! Hellooo....have I missed something? Since when has the arrival of scheduled flights been a surprise??

It was obviously a balls-up, so why not just admit it and apologise Mr BAA?

No doubt we can expect this winter's train delays to be "due to unforseen stations on the route".

Bah! Humbug!

Just say it.

I've just visited a very close girlfriend who is dying. She was unconscious, breathing heavily. The hospital staff said that they thought that it would be only a matter of hours.

I sat next to her, not knowing if she could hear anything. I wanted to say stuff based on my Buddhist beliefs, but I was scared to, in case it conflicted with her Christian ones. I caught the absurdity of my reluctance. What does it matter what one believes and says, as long as it comes from the heart!

I kissed her hand and, through my tears, said that I had loved her in our past lives, love her in this one and would love her again in future lives.

Suddenly she opened her eyes. She tried to focus on me for a few seconds but then slipped back.

She'd heard.

We're complete.

Am I your customer or supplier? - it's make your mind up time!

Last week I had a shocking conversation with an Estate Agent. As you know from my last post, I'm trying to buy an appartment. With difficulty!

I received a call from a 'negotiator' describing a property I might like to view.
"Great! Let's go and see it tomorrow morning?" I said.
"We don't do viewings in the mornings" she replied.
"That doesn't seem to be a very customer-centric approach" I mused, expecting an explanation as to why mornings were out.
"YOU are NOT my customer!" she said.

Duh?

I explained that in normal businesses we regard the seller as the supplier and the buyer as the customer. But she would have none of it.

No wonder UK estate agents are such rubbish - they can't recognise a customer!

They love it! But do they know how to buy it?

Last week a client asked me to review his salespeople's pipeline using the SIJAC methodology. And on first impressions, it looked fat and healthy, so I asked him why he thought it needed reviewing. "I'm not sure Chris. All the prospects say that they absolutely love the product, however no-one has signed on the dotted line yet. The sales cycle is normally quite long, but it doesn't feel right and I can't put my finger on why" he said.

As we went thru the prospects with each salesperson, it quickly became apparent that his doubts were well-founded. Sure enough, each prospect had received a number of great presentations, had expressed real interest in what the product could do for them and had been left with a sense of "Wow, that one awesome product you guys have!"

But that's all they were left with - a nice warm feeling!

They had no idea how to justify a purchase, how to go about incorporating it, who would need to be involved in the purchasing decision, the short and long term impact on their organisation, and what other resources they may need to ensure success.

"Now go back and teach them how to buy it" I said.

Adding more value

In an earlier blog I mentioned how my wife's trip to the vegetable market got me thinking about 'value-added' being adding a positive human interaction to the transaction. Well, last week I had the pleasure of being a receiver of such 'value-added'.

Knowing I was going to Spain for a couple of days I telephoned and booked a car from a rental company I've used the past. Although I'd agreed the price, nevertheless I felt that it was on the high side so I decided to check alternative prices on the web. Sure enough it looked as if I was paying about 25% over the web rates. Hmm, I thought "it better be a fabulous car!"

I arived at Malaga airport at midnight. The rental guy was waiting for me. He treated me like a long lost brother, said I was to his company a 'friend' not a 'client', knew all my driver's details from the last time (3 years ago), handed me the car, told me he'd be waiting for for me on my return and gave me his mobile number in case I had a problem. It could have been all bullshit, but it made me feel great. By the time I was driving away from the airport, I had already decided I'd use them again in the summer.

Here's the thought - next time you say to a prospect that your company provides added value, ask yourself, "how do my customers experience it?"

That fabulous car? I think it was a small non-descript hatchback. Who cares?!

It's all monkey business

Last weekend I visited a local buddhist temple and the theme of the monk's talk was 'non attachment'. He illustrated the flaws to our attachment to cherished ideas with a story of how Thai farmers used to catch rogue monkeys.

The farmer would cut a slot in the coconut big enough for the monkey to slip his hand inside. He would then put a firm but juicy mixture of banana, coconut pulp and leaves inside the coconut and tether it to a stake. The monkey would smell the delicious cocktail, find the coconut on the ground, slip his hand inside and grab the mixture. But there was a catch; the monkey's clasped fist wouldn't come back out through the slot!

The monkey had a choice - let go of the goodies, slip his hand out and be free or hang on and get caught. It seems amazing that the monkey would give up his freedom for the thought of instant gratification, but he did just that.

I wondered, which fearful ideas do we cling to and that we refuse to release in order to be free to make those elusive cold calls?

Whose value is it anyway?

There's a neat bunch of techy guys who look after the pay per click and search engine optimisation of my 'How to Sell' website (see link on the right). Basically, their job is to make sure that the site appears at the right time and place when people look for short, sharp sales training. Oh, and that it doesn't cost a me fortune (it doesn't).

Despite this not being part of their remit, last week I asked if they could fix it so that my site could stream a short movie without the vistors having to download first. They said they'd see what they could do.

The next day, the movie was up and running. Wow! I was delighted and immediately offered to pay for the work. They said no because they wanted provide good customer service and as it turned out, it was no big deal for them. I agreed not to pay, but why did it make me feel uncomfortable?

I came to this conclusion:- our customers assess and pay for the that value they get from the business relationship. When we accept payment we reinforce that value. If we refuse payment, we risk indicating that we value the relationship less than they do!

First get on the pitch

Its funny how the same theme will turn up twice in one week.

On Monday I was discussing with a US client the content of a training programme we're doing for him next week. The company has developed higher value services and he wanted his sales people to sell these as well as the standard stuff. He said, "Chris, the salespeople know that they must sell these new services if they are to make their revenue targets. All they need to do is get on the phones. I know that they're just talking about doing it but not getting on with it!"

Later in the week, at our London 'taster session' the sales director of a printing company, asked anxiously; "Does your programme get salespeople, who know that they must contact new propects in order to succeed, to actually get on and do it? I have a sales guy, who has for the last six months promised to drum up new business, but he hasn't yet picked up the telephone!"

I'm not going to bore you with my reply but suffice to say that both frustrations reminded me of that saying, which is so relevant to selling;

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen

Knowing changes nothing

For the past few months, a really good friend has been expressing her concern that her consultancy business is not growing fast enough. She openly admits that it is because she's enjoying the freedom of being self-employed and not knuckling down to do the biz. So she's currently running on guilt.

Yesterday evening I attended a free ISMM (Institute of Sales & Marketing Management) training session. I rang my friend earlier in the day to invite her. The speaker, Brian Gibbons, was giving a talk called The Winner's Edge. "It says that attitude, not aptitude is the key criterion for success", I read from the blurb.

"Wow, that's so relevant for me! I know I've the wrong attitude" she said.

"Great!" I said, "then you'll come with me?"

"No, it'll mean having to take the train into London" she replied.

Duh!

Caveat vendor

Last Wednesday Marie and I went to an artist friend's private view. I hadn't seen her work for a couple of years and, having read the somewhat exhuberant pre show press release, I wasn't inclined to be impressed.

However, when I saw her work I was stunned! The pictures were beautiful and moving. They struck me in a way that completely bypassed my head. Pure emotion. From the wall, thru my eyes, straight to my heart. Bang!

I became so engrossed with one piece that found myself wanting to buy it. The moment I started to consider the possibility, thoughts started to bubble up; "where will we hang it?", "will I get bored with it?", "will friends think I'm being extravagant?" and "what else would I spend the money on?"

I didn't buy.

On the way home I reflected on the huge tension between the positive emotions around the desire to own something you love and the cautionary thinking process of actually buying it.

Seller beware!

Karma keeps you calmer

One of the great things about being a trainer/coach is that you occasionally get to try out some of the stuff you give out. Recently I have been running a negotiation course. Throughout it I'd talked about the value of a BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement). I stressed you should not to regard it as a 'walkout' position but to think of the action you'd take if you can't get agreement - I tell delegates that it will empower them because they'll think beyond the negotiation. That is the theory anyway......

Recently I found house to buy, so I decided to put my BATNA theory into practice. Mine was that if the seller didn't accept my 'final' offer (much lower than I expected to have to pay), then I would leave my offer on the table and continue to look for another house. The seller could take my offer up any time before I found another. Boy, did it give me confidence!

It'll be no surprise to know that we quickly hit my final offer, so I told them my BATNA. I thought that they'd be offended at this 'derisory' offer and tell me to p*** off, but they said they'd think about it. They did and 3 hours later they accepted. I've never done such a stress free deal in all my life!

As my wife says "Chill out Chris, it's Karma"

Say no

Today I tried out an 'exercise' I found on the BBC website, for a negotiation course I'm running for a large IT services company.

The consistent theme that came through during the participants interviews prior to the course was, that they were too ready to say 'yes' to their clients' demands. The result was that they were overworked and had a sense that their clients thought that they were a pushover.

This simple exercise is to designed to encourage people to be more assertive in their speaking. Basically you play at saying NO to others.

I set the game up as a quick icebreaker for the beginning of the course, but its effect was astonishing. Admittedly, in the game there are no consequences to saying 'no', but the freedom and energy it released in the participants was amazing.

I continued lecturing for the rest of the day with intellectual and psychological concepts as 'personal power', 'negotiating positioning', 'concessions', BATNA's and 'interests'. I really though that I had my audience enthralled. At the end of the session I asked what insights and new ideas had they got during the day. Without exception they all said.....................yeah you guessed it......................the 5 minute 'no' session.

What's the point in being a genius?!!!

Don't accept assistance from the boss - use it

Today I wrapped up a sales game that I've been running with a team of sales guys and girls from an information company I work with. Although the team did fantastically well against all the odds, they didn't quite achieve the target to get their big prize (a playawayday for the whole division) but they did get close enough to earn themselves enough cash for a seriously dangerous night out.

During the wrap up I asked each of them what they'd learned from the experience and what they'd do differently next time. One of the guys said that despite many offers, he was disapppointed at the spurious and ineffective offers support from the senior management. I asked him what he'd do diferently next time. He said he'd ask each person individually for their support. I asked "...and then what will you get?"

"Nothing!" came the chorus. Familiar?

The moment reminded me of that British Civil Servant operational mantra "Offer every possible assistance short of actual help".

My coaching to him was was the following; whenever a colleague or boss offers you their 'support' in a sales situation, say thank you, then give him/her a specific task to do by a set date. 50% of the support offers will suddenly evaporate and the remaining 50% will truly transform your sales performance.
You will have also learned the best lesson of management - how to identify the bullsh***ers.

'Value added' - a new definition?

Last week I was following an email conversation between my son, JC and my colleague Nick, about the consequences of the China's phenomenonal economic rise . I also heard a radio debate on the same topic a couple of days ago.

There seem to be two camps; one saying that the Chinese will commoditise everything, leaving Europe impoverished and the other camp countering with the argument that Europe will simply move up the 'value added' ladder.

Whilst I don't share the doomsayers view, I do have difficulty in believing in the 'value added' argument. After all, it was only 10 years ago that the West claimed that its IT services were 'value added', and look how quickly they were commoditised and went East.

Today, I had a small insight into what the future European 'value added' might look like. My wife returned from shopping raving about how helpful the market stallholder had been in recommending how to prepare, cook and serve green bananas. On top of that she was delighted that he'd been pleased to see, her even though she rarely visits that market.

"Can you image the checkout person at the supermarket welcoming me and advising me on the joys and health benefits of green bananas!" She said. "No chance!"

Green bananas are commodities. If she'd bought them from the supermarket, that's what she would have got - commodities. But by buying from the stallholder she got commodities plus a positive personal experience - value added?.

Maybe we Europeans should start selling cornflakes in boxes with "FREE INSIDE - Human experience"

So what do you do?

Every Sunday morning between 10:00 and 11:15 I listen religiously to a radio soap called "The Archers" which has been running since the 1940's. It's purports to be a story about the everyday lives of English country folk. Story-wise, very little happens, the script is as believable the Queen's Christmas message and the series represents English country life about as accurately as the life of Mahatma Ghandi.

My wife cringes when "The Archers" comes on and I'm required to put the headphones on to listen to it. Nevertheless, I am embarrassed to say I remain an addict of 25 years. I justify this perverted habit by reminding her that there are at least 4 million Archer junkies like me.

We all love stories, even dull ones, because stories give us a sense that someone is looking after the lives of the characters. Uncertainty is the great human fear. We usually believe we are a story and hope that a scriptwriter is looking after our life. Its no surprise that all the great religious texts are story books.

Here's an idea.

When you are after new business and a punter asks you, "What can you do for me?" or "What do you do for a living?", don't give a detailed a description of what you do. Tell them a story of what you've done for others (e.g. customers). It'll make them feel that you'll look after their life as successfully as you've looked after others.

For our European friends (and some Americans)!

I'm no big fan of Rupert Mordoch but sometimes one of his news companies gets it spot on!
http://moblog.co.uk/view.php?id=93520

Who hijacks my brain?

I live in an Victorian Terraced (circa 1870) house which has a coal cellar that we Brits jokingly call a basement. In it I keep an increasing number of brand new power tools (still boxed) for which I have yet to find a use (I put it down to flat screen syndrome). Its also filled with good intentions.

The cellar, sorry basement, is damp because its concrete floor is porus. Most of the time it looks like someone has sprinkled a bucket of biscuit crumbs over the floor and about this time of year I sweep it clean to discourage nature offering it out to a family of voles.

It has been like this since time began and the house shows no intention of falling down. So you'd advise me to, "LEAVE IT ALONE, CHRIS" wouldn't you? And I'd agree.

So who told my brain that it would be a good idea to pour the contents of a part used, 20-year old tin of masonary paint onto the floor on the basis that it would glue all the biscuit crumbs together to form a smooth, hard wearing 21st century floor?

Now I have a basement worthy of a film set from 'Swampman meets Godzilla', with chemical effluent vapour rising from it that would make an ICI plant seem fragrant.

My only consolation is that if I can't stay down there for more that a minute without my skin erupting into suppurating sores, no vole is going to want to rent the space this winter.